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Ive tried to recreate it later when i was 10, 12 or during my mid 20's. Nothing worked, Maybe there was some leftovers but you could feel it only AFTER you have done something interesting. I havent felt like im going through the adventure while doing it, only after it as i rememebered it and started to miss it. There was no curiosity drive itself but just rational feel you get when you remember interesting events that you never thought you would consider adventrorous and never thought you would miss them. There was no feel of surpising wonder.
After i saw it being mentioned in of the books ive read when i was a tennager ive been constantly thinking about the topic of becoming more "stale", almost going through the process necrosis of what you can call a soul and "losing yourself" through whole my life, be it in books or my own intuition. You probably understand what im talking about. They talk about domestication of a man and i think this is what they mean. Yeah you can wait till you get taller, year or two older or stronger to start exploring the stuff you want but sometimes the call just burns fucking out, especially if it wakes up too early, it just cant wait and it just dies out
I went walking the dog to the forest last morning and i was suddenly struck by one thought that i was able to finally articulate after years of trying.
How i became a shadow of my former self and basically betrayed myself and died in my own eyes.
When i was older i had dreams about city i was born in, dead relatives, return the the place where i lived, but i havent had them for years.
Have you guys expirienced the extintcion of the call?
