>>15224147Man, that’s weird you say that because I was recently in the middle of nowhere in this small town in the Midwest and my family and I were actually going antiquing on a nice spring afternoon. I mean my whole family, too. Brothers and sisters, grandma and grandpa, mom and dad, nieces and nephews. Just a nice day together, you know?
Anyway, we’re about to go into this real quaint little shop that looked as if it could be out of an Americana catalog or something and I reach for the door when all of a sudden Mike Vallely’s hand reaches out and blocks the door. He looks right at me and was like, “what the fuck you think you’re doing, bro?”
Confused, I turned to my whole family behind me and was like, “sorry not sure what’s going on, guess they’re closed.”
Vallely quickly says, “not closed bro. Just want to know why you think you can just go antiquing and not have to answer for it.”
And I was like, “what?”
And he was like, “antiquing is like the whitest shit a person can do. you must be a racist.”
And I was like, “what?”
At this point my family said we can just go somewhere else but Mike looked passed me and straight at my grandma and was like, “you can shop for deals all up and down this street or you can come get these hands for free, ya old racist bitch.”
At that point, I think my grandfather snapped as he was in ‘nam and he pulled out an old Colt .45 pistol we didn’t know he was carrying and pointed it directly at Vallely and said something like, “If you wanna act like a Charlie then you can die like a Charlie.”
I thought grandpa was gonna shoot him but Vallely put up his hands and said “I knew you were racist but I don’t believe in guns so I’m gonna let it slide this time.”
Then we went antiquing
