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I think I just hate men in general. All the ones I grew up around were terrible Soviet-raised trash. I guess why I am sort of ''feminist''. I hate males and being around them in general. Every older Lithuanian man is an insecure drunk piece of trash that should be euthanized. And that's the main thing I fear of my own drinking: resembling that intellectually deficient wife-abusing garbage in any way. That's the only motivation that may ever get me out of this rut, even if I have no more girl to be better for at this point.