I'll expound here what i believe to be the ideal life foe a lay theravada buddhist. I'm basing my vision of lay buddhism on this sutra (
https://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/ethics_v.htm), and I believe this is how you gain an understanding of detachment. The way I see it, it all begins from your mind as according to the Dhammapada. The first step to being a good layman is putting yourself out in the world. You need to experience joy and suffering to build your spiritual baggage just like the Buddha did in his life. Experience is necessary to tell the good apart from the wrong. Afterwards, you have to preserve this baggage through what i presume to be controlling your actions, thoughts and words. Meditation might help you preserve and build your mental stability. The third step is engaging in constructive discussions and selecting your friendships, the wise friends you'll make and keep close to you will stimulate your personal development and help you on your way towards enlightenment. The fourth and final part is acquiring the perception of impermanence, studying the rising and falling of all phenomena and finally detaching yourself from their transient nature.
