Quoted By:
>be me
>been roughly a month since my last Shapman encounter
>getting mail
>see new neighbor moving into former ones house
>a single woman in her 20s
>go to make a good first impression but I noticed her shirt
>it says "you owe me 21 cents"
>flashback.exe
>I whisper to her in a concerned tone
>"hey this won't make any sense but don't talk about what's on your shirt"
>"excuse me, I get you're a guy but the wage gap is a serious issue that plagues women in the"
>suddenly aggressive gusts of wind flank us while it changes from day to midnight in an instant
>notthisagain.avi
>I see my former neighbor now bald eagle drop from the heavens
>as he lands a crater forms around him
>the new neighbor is trembling with fear
>the eagle faces me
>"anon has this mortal committed the same odious act as I have in my previous form?"
>I nod
>the eagle turns its head 180 degrees to the poor soul
>"your fate has been sealed"
>the eagle stomps the ground causing it to violently shake while lightning strikes
>the Shapman materializes out of thin air
>he looks different
>Shapman is stronger, he's jacked
>Shapiro yet again unveils his mighty schlong
>my neighbor tries to book it but alas it's too late
>Big Ben extends his schlong and impales her
>he then starts screaming statistics about how the wage gap is a myth
>my neighbor bleeding out frothing at the mouth calling him a sexist pig
>"YOU PROBABLY FORCE YOUR WIFE TO STAY AT HOME"
>Shapman gives face pic related
>"my wife is doctor"
>the lady starts screeching like a demon
>she starts melting while being absorbed into Big Ben's mighty schlong
>the eagle screeches while lighting strikes
>"another libtard rekt sir" says his eagle
>the deed is done
>Shapman then screams like the wolverine
>his thirst quenched and his power increasing
>he locks his gaze onto me and winks
>"no homo bro"
>confused I look down and notice im naked and I spilled my brogurt everywhere
>I salute him and scream "NO HOMO SIR"
>he vanishes
>tears of joy
