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and. I prob won't make it great in music. that hurts me a lot. that all the years of growing up I couldn't pay back for who I truly cared for. and that's going to be excrucating... but im happy that i atleast am trying to. My whole life has been an embarresement, my whole life has been humiliating. I just want to do the one thing that could make me feel like it was worth living. but i might not be able to. and if im not able to then i want to die.
i just dont want to be abandoned again