>>4544199Don't worry, you don't need to. I'm a broken man for quite some time, got used to suck it up every time. Except from teenage depressive episode I went full onto major disorder and even bipolar after a few months, hence my periods of no sleep for a few days while I'm in hyperactivity 'mode'. I've always been untalkative but now it's just hell, even if I want to I can't make myself say something. I have a gf, but we've become far apart both geographically and now mentally. All our relationships and memories are being destroyed right now because I don't talk even to her anymore. I constantly try, but the only things I can mutter are pure facts about surroundings or questions about weather and such. I just don't remember how to talk in person anymore. And she thinks that I want to get rid of her because of this.
Anyway, I'm 80% sure I'll day at 45-50 from cancer since my whole mother's family side died like this. Her father, his mother, her father. Guess another 20 years is nothing since I somehow survived these.
