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had another nap. very disturbing dream. someone very close and dear to me was hurting themselves, i was desperately trying to stop them and trying to get other people to help me but they didn't understand how serious things were... see futures are off their lows but it's still ghastly. can't say i'm happy with tariffs at all but it is what it is. i barely consume products anyways, get most of my clothes from goodwill and spend most of my time on my pc. i hope a lot of jobs come back, but i haven't had one in over a decade myself and not planning on ever getting one again. am concerned about stock prices but i can handle them lower for a lot longer, don't need to sell until mom is gone. what i am worried most about is financial warfare and retaliation, something like 2008 where institutions crumble. we're a financialized country at the moment and the industrial base is still feeble. we're one hard push away from a very serious crisis and we aren't the ones in control of that. aside from that i'm having a personal crisis, a challenge i thought was difficult is looming ever larger now. i'm not one to shrink from stuff like this but i am daunted by new information i won't lie. i just have to keep being me though i think, i am enough for the right person, but i'll have to dig deeper.
tomorrow is a new day though and i think forward progress was made. today is a lift day and i play to do 3-4 sets of 165 lb bench which is my bodyweight, and will likely accomplish 170 or more before my mom leaves for europe, when i'll have to lighten things up a bit for my own safety. i'll try to come up with a trade plan for tomorrow too, i can't see a sector or stock that will benefit from this at the moment, but i'm sure there is one. maybe just a day to buy inverse etfs. gonna eat and lift, be back later tonight.
