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Even though I have lots of good things (gf, never have to sleep hungry, worked enough to be able to enrol in college) none of it helps
I'm still always so empty and unfulfilled by normal living. I keep getting vivid dreams about just throwing my entire life away in order to just go on a long bender and kms. Apply for and max out as many credit cards as i can, buy building materials and tools, and just withdraw to the woods. I don't think humans were meant to do what we have done with ourselves, and that you and I would be more satisfied living a simple life off the grid, taking each day as it comes.