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Anon I'm not going to sugar coat it. You would be in for a rough time under normal circumstances.
My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in July 2015. In October (after surviving a flood) she was dead. By the end she was totally skeletal and incoherent. Her last words were babbling swear words. It was gruesome.
In the months after she died her brother (my uncle) was diagnosed with prostate cancer and died. Then my dad was diagnosed with skin cancer, which thank god never spread and he's fine.
Why am I telling you this? Well I became a selfish idiot waiting for my turn to get sick. After my mom died I stopped working out and eating right. 5 years later I'm still having to work hard and diet to get into the shape I was in before she got sick. I was so consumed with feeling sorry for myself that I never saw my uncle after his diagnosis. My aunt definitely holds it against me, and I dont blame her at all.
You need to focus on the time you have with her. It will be painful but talk to her. Find out your family story as it may be your last chance. After she passes, which is likely with stage 4, focus on your relationship with your dad. I was never that close to my dad before, since he was a workaholic lawyer, but in the past five years I've really gotten to know him and appreciate him. Make sure you dont drift apart.
