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Hey buddy. I understand where you are coming from. I don't want to open a can of worms here but you should try nofap.
I'm on day 65 and I feel much better. Much more confident and content. My periods of anxiety and sadness are less frequent and less potent. Clearer skin, more energy.
That and start exercising, lifting has helped me a lot. You don't even need to go to the gym, just start with a pullup bar and dip press, that way you can do pullups, dips, pushups, and rows in your house.
You'll feel a lot better and it makes the loneliness much easier to deal with and you get some period of genuine happiness and contentedness.
