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There’s this 18 or so year old cute, skinny, freckled redhead girl who walks past my house every day. She had a tight but perky butt that looks great in her jeans, but I’m worried she may have some horrible ailment affecting her anus. I’m not a doctor, but a concerned citizen for her health and I feel the need to step in if she’s refusing to ask. Would it be considered rape if I grabbed her, pulled her into a bush and performed an anal examination using my fingers and penis to make sure she isn’t going to die of ass cancer? I’m just trying to help her.