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>go running in London soon after moving here
>wear my contact lenses to see where I'm going since I'm going a new route
>stupidly go running in evening instead of morning
>see Chads, Staceys, and normies at bars, living the life, including guys and girls in early 20s when I'm 26 and have never had female attention ever and have had no friends for 8 years
Being an ugly male is demoralisation 24/7. Full on psychological warfare. Nobody will acknowledge it except for 4chan, barely.
I search Google for people like me and I get Reddit topics by ugly guys who are low IQ and "helped" by the vacuous, corporate propaganda guzzling mass. It's horrific. "Ugly girls have it hard, stop whining." No, they can get Chads for sex or relationships from dating sites or real life while ugly males get fuck all except a banal education to work conveyer belt. Every humiliation is double: the act itself and the society wide denial.
I have a job interview for a job that pays £2000 more in salary but only comes out to £100 a month more due to taxes and probably includes travel and longer hours. I hate all options. I think intertia rules my life. It took only a few days in my current outwardly respectable job for me to become the loser loner that nobody talks to, similarly to every other job I've had.
It feels impossible to even enjoy my free time since pissing contest propaganda invades everything, backed by advertising and the masses. You can't just read books, you have to read boring as fuck old books or pseudointellectuals call you an idiot. If your thoughts aren't standardised you are ostracised.
It's torture seeing so many attractive women and knowing they live trivially easy lives and see me as a disgusting subhuman. If I was a normie I could even be a happy retailcuck but I see my situation clearly. Being blackpilled is the only solution. I torture myself by walking in Central London on busy nights to see the party life I'll never have. People my age live in a non stop party.