>>13604250Rum, straight.
Fiancée died several months ago, due to medical malpractice (she had several underlying health issues), life has sucked since. We were together for 4 years, she was very loyal, and we were prepping to live a life in a rural area while she stayed home to raise kids. She was one of a kind, even listened to all my /pol/tard. Bit immature, but that child like innocence of her calmed me - men really need to lead women otherwise they self-destruct themselves.
I know she is praying for me to keep living and find a new woman. After all that connection building, the planning, the love, the physical attraction, the red-pilling, all gone in a fucking instant. Some days are better, some are worse, prayer helps. Mornings are the worst, waking up in an empty, cold bed and a quiet house without the smell of burnt bacon and the fire alarms going (she was kinda klutzy cooking some food) is beyond soul killing. To a point, I'm not afraid to die anymore whatever happens in the next several years. I've lost my jobs, my house because of the coof layoffs and we pulled through. Now I lost my wife-to-be.
At least I know what kind of woman I look for now. I can never replace her, but I can find someone new. Funny was on a date, some bitch I was talking wanted to be a career woman, so I just left the date, she even texted afterwards "can we just fuck" and I replied "do it yourself, you're independent after all".
I just want to get to heaven, I don't care about earthly success, only thing that has kept me from adding 124 grains to my brain.
