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Chinese history be like
>Warlord Wu Tu Tai of the Flying Panda faction engaged Prince Lee Xi of the Chang Dynasty at Dragon Pass in the War of Heavenly Ascension causing 60 million to perish
Russian history be like
>Tsar Nikolai Stalinikov's anti-alcoholism campaign causes a total collapse of the Soviet Empire's economy triggering 20 coup attempts and 8 revolutions causing 29 million to die in a famine
American history be like
>In an attempt to improve approval ratings after the oil industry blowjob scandal President Lawrence Eagleburger initiates Operation Eternal Democracy a bombing campaign against the Democratic People's Socialist Islamic Kingdom of Commiestan an oil-rich dictatorship in the Middle East led by CIA-installed General Kim Abdul who opposes Israel and Saudi Arabia. 10000 Lockheed Martin Northrop Grumman Raytheon FB-25A Metal Gear Mark V Liberty Prime Deathmachines are deployed costing taxpayers 60 trillion dollars. As a result of the war the price of gas drops by 3 cents causing Eagleburger's popularity to soar to 91% however Eagleburger would lose reelection to Joe Cowboy due to his scandalous reaction to the McDonalds school shooting
European history be like
>Count Baron Kaiser Werner Hans Pfeldlinger Dietrich Fingerlickner Fizzebottom von Heinrich marries half-sister Znigwieczrina Nowloczynlieczwowzcrczsky of Globsnogczrecnogoloth triggering a war between King Juan Jose Maria Rigoberto Aguascacas de Santo Domingo de los Diabetico and Pierre Richlesauxwitz pretard Je Jean Logriousloxoureraux purging all Jews and establishing the Grand Dutchy of Neue Ooksteinberg a tax haven with a population of 16
