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try to address root problems head on rather than compulsively turn to tge fantasy of suicide. Easier said than done. But suicidal ideation for many people, myself included, seems to resemble OCD where an unhealthy obsession with some negative aspect of my existence leads to unproductive compulsive behaviors/distractions, sometimes in the form of suicidal thoughts.
We all have desires wants and needs. But life is finite, we all have to die. Furthermore not only is life as a whole finite, but so are the different epochs of our lives like childhood, youth, middle age.. Whatever you choose to do or not do has to be in light of these facts.
Eventually when death is imminent it might be better to escape in to fantasy, but if you have years or decades remaining I think you will find greater happiness if you try to accomplish something concrete.