>>15975652I see. You'll get another chance next year?
The thing is, there's still lots of time. Don't view that one year you have to try again as a detriment. It just means that you have one full year to not mess up like you did this time. Not every single person who got where they wanted to managed to do it in their first try ever, obviously.
And what's worse, one more year of not being where you want to be, or a lifetime of regretting that you never picked yourself up and managed to get yourself there? There's no shame in being at the point you're at and failing once, but you will find it shameful if you give up and stay like this forever. The feeling of being upset yourself like right now will be nothing compared to the regret you'll have in the future of not doing more to eventually get it right.
It really is a shame, but what it is, yeah. Just try to look forward rather than keep beating yourself while you're already down. Hell, you should attempt to get better at what you failed, as soon as possible. One year is nothing in the grand scheme of making yourself happy.
So, just take this one failure as a lesson learnt, rather than stay dwelling on it. Anybody could've messed up like you did, but you shouldn't repeat it a second time.
Plus, not being able to go there academically is one thing. If you go ahead with things and get stable financially thanks to a good enough job, what would prevent you from traveling overseas on your own? Even if it'll just take a little while longer. In any case, if you really desire it, you just have to push yourself on.
As you said, it ultimately depends on your will, but reassuring yourself on what will come out if it helps to get motivation. Remember what you're doing it for, and that you can only do it now.
Apologies for not being able to add much other than "just do it", but I hope that you see it's not over just yet, and there's still so much time on your hands to do the things you want, sooner or later. Take care.
