>>13131750Looks like I'm on luck. My therapist talks to me and already told me that she isn't going to tell me "you have x disease and you need to treat it with y". She is more like a friend who I can tell everything. Public services here are, in general, shitty, but she is very different from all other therapists I talked so far. She even comes to my house to visit me when I'm not feeling well to go and talk to her in person. She also talks to me with IMs, which is better than leaving my house to have an appointment. It's a strange thing, since I feel more relieved (or, at least, feel like she understood what I told her about how I'm feeling) when we talk in person. She is, really, a golden person and, probably, I wouldn't have nobody to talk about my stuff. My brother already have enough with his own stuff (he's suicidal as well, so you can tell a lot by it).
My "treatment" with her consists mostly on finding what makes me feel better and try working on it, as well as avoiding what doesn't helps me or just makes me feel bad with no profit. It's very different from the therapists on the clinic that my psychiatrist works. The clinic is more like an emergency system for people who tried to end their lives. She, otherwise, works in my neighborhood on a health post, so it's a really different approach. It takes to the point to make me feel her like a friend who is here to help and listen to anything without judging or suggesting absurd stuff, like "take the hormones and follow your dreams".
In fact, I do think that I didn't do the exit bag until now because she's here. I don't have too much deeper support from my family or friends. They just don't know what to do and some of them just don't care until the point I don't bring any problems to them.
Therefore, I need to find a solution. We tried a lot of things to make me feel better, but it's just getting worse. Looks like I'm deep-frying my own mind. I don't know what to do to make thing better.
I'm fucked up, I guess.
