Quoted By:
>be hermit
>exactly 1261 because I'm smart
>read only books smoking healing plants the romans believed in
>this hemp shit is pretty good
>just read my last book on how shit falls to the ground if you drop it
>have to go into town
>climb down my single tower spire among the ruins of what was once my town
>go to the kings castle
>kick the shit with his cute pages
>one doesn't believe that shit drops at the same rate
>says some nigga named Roger Bacon was the only right holy man
>u wot scribe?
>challenge the poor boyish page on his boy honor
>stand up on a table
>procure 2 books of noticeably different sizes
>beholdtthisact.oration
>drop the books
>they hit at the same time
>likeanobleman.painting
>king was watching
>oh shit I'm to be burned for sure
>asks me to do it again with different objects
>gives me a rock and a nugget of gold
>drop them and once again they hit at the same time
>king is in awe of my amazing "magic" he calls it
>asks me to show him more tricks
>pluck a feather from a passing chicken wandering the castle halls
>wave my hand over the feather reciting a bunch of gibberish nonsense
>drop the rock and the feather
>feather floats gracefully down while rock hits hard on the stone floors
>king is flipping his shit
>I tell him I'm a wizard and can cast spells and shit
>the mad lad believes me
>proclaims me the court wizard
>gives me a new tower to live in full of books
>advise him and his barons on the ways of proper sanitation much like how the Romans did
>teach them what the Romans already knew about the stars, the land and the way nature works
>one baron tells me he is brand new and wants a spell put on him to protect him from falling ill
>something about his predecessors baroness and a plague doctor shoving piss in here cooter
>mix animal fat, salt, lime, flour and water in a pot then boil it
>congeal it into a bar
>plague doctors go out of business as my bars circulate the town
>i am a wizard
