>>3453483>>3453611>your mind blocks them out so you won't get hurt as muchMaybe that's why I don't remember almost anything from my childhood. I had loving parents and I definitely know there were moments where I was happy, but most of it was feeling sad because all I wanted was to be a normal kid but I never fitted in so I guess it's enough reason to block it. I remember I was around ten when I first wished I would die. After that time it all went downhill for years.
Spent my childhood/adolescence alone with a computer, became extremely socially autistic and when I finally got to move out to university I was already too numb and incompetent to make friends so all my hopes of finally getting those friends I had always wanted went to sit in like the first week of uni.
Then I kept going downhill for another year. Got fat, started drinking regularly to forget about life for a while and got to the verge of offing myself at around mid-2015.
After that I moved to another flat and I don't even know how but I managed to make good friends with the new flatmates and things magically started to get better. I was less depressed because I finally had friends so I started doing better in my studies, managed to gather enough willpower to lose weight and even got a job. I still feel sad many times but it's not as bad and now at least I have a happy day to rember those times.
Damn, this really got long. Sorry for blogpost anons but I was quite bored
