>>18150146Neetism is clinical depression.
You have bad mental health.
Please seek help as you are so much more valuable to yourself and others when you are productive. I'm not saying you have to have a job either. Just doing productive things. Hobbies that give you a good feeling. Cheap stuff is fine.
Learn about local wildlife so when you go outside you can identify the animals you may see. Learn to fish and learn all about fish migration and mating patterns and relase most things you catch, but still eat some. Learn how to cook really good meals. Even if you are alone, you will appreciate a nice home-cooked dinner, it is good for your soul.
Idk, you can volunteer at a local animal shelter and play with the dogs and cats all day and probably find a kind girl to pursue.
Your life isn't as bad as you think, there is always time to improve, there is always time to make amends. You have the capacity to be proud of yourself and you deserve that.