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i once broke a dogs dick. kind of.
as i was walking down the street i saw two dogs fucking on my neighbours front porch.
i thought it would be funny to walk to them and clap my hands.
the bitch got startled, jumped, and took off with the mutts dick still inside her.
it popped free and he started howling like a police siren, his dick bent.
i ringed the doorbell and they opened.
i stood there and said with the best pokerface i could muster "your dog seems to have broken his dick"
later i stood in the shower for an hour pondering what i am doing with my life.
