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okay so this is gonna be a bit faggoty but I need to get this off my chest. Throughout school all the women ignored me and labeled me as weird. It doesnt help I hang with the kids that aren’t really the sporty types so they get pretty shunted to the side. Anyways in early 2018 I finally became close with a female for the first time in my life. She honestly treated me like a person and not like trash. Of course, this means I crash for her. Hard. I beat myself up over it for a long ass time. Kept telling myself to snap out of it. It was the first time I had even spoken to a woman, I couldn’t ruin it by asking her out. This battle continued for several months. Finally, I got over myself. I resolved the strength to ask her. And right as I’m about to... she texts me. She got asked out my another of my friends. I didn’t understand. That particular friend was a dick to her for months. Of course, the dumbass in me told her to go for it. I thought I would help myself. Obviously, no. My heart felt like it was in a vice the whole time. I desperately wanted her for myself, but I knew it could never happen. They split after a month. Quickly after she developed a joke that we were actually a secret couple. I laughed with it, of course, but it keeps me up at night still. And I wanted to tell her that hey, I totally wish that wasn’t a joke, but when I dropped a few clues, she became more stand-offish. So now we’re in a colder relationship than what we started with and she still prefers her ex to me. Pic related, I fucking wish it were me.
Thanks to whoever decides to read this. I just needed to say it. It’s been weighing me down for awhile.
