>>2581880I live in a third world shithole and have no aspirations in life.
Dropped out of college in my second year because I was wasting my time with humanities and haven't had the will to go back to it, every year I get older and I see a degree as increasingly worthless. I'm 23 now and I live through working at home and doing stupid shit like taking advantage of the dumb crypto market to justify my existence and buy vidya, but that's about all I do and it doesn't take much of my day.
Other than that I've just been stuck in a loop of consuming entertainment until I grow bored of it, switching it with another medium, or merely self-loathingly circling through my head and overanalizing every aspect of my life due to boredom alone. Eventually I got used to the loneliness, I barely go out of my house anymore with the exception of buying alcohol or something else to drown my sorrows and make me feel somewhat happy, if only for a few hours.
More than that, I've come to realize I really don't have much of a drive to overcome my faults and lie to myself with some made-up purpose in order to adapt better to the sorrow that awaits me. I'd rather just rot in this shithole with what little I have and genuinely enjoy, even for a little while, since at this point I think those small things are the only thing between me and a mental breakdown. At this point I don't want much other than just to drop dead happily one day and make of that the ending for my miserable life. And I really fucking hope there's nothing like an afterlife, I've already had enough as it is, I just want to vanish into unconsciousness and call it quits.
