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Dezpair is the apex of emotion. It is your chance to learn about yourself in a way nothing else allows. I strongly encourage you to allow yourself to feel this pain instead of running from it. It absolutely sucks, but it CAN change your life for the better. I guarantee you can come out of this with new insight and strength. When someone is in your position, you aren't seeing a light at theend of the tunnel, but you WILL get through it. Humans are tough as nails, but so many people don't want to bother finding out. You have no idea how string you really are.
Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim - "Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you."
Please don't kill yourself.