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I used to spike my ex-girlfriend's food with spoons of psylium husks so as to increase her flatulence. Afterwards I would find her used knickers and sniff the patch that used to get farted on. I've never known erections so hard. I loved her gentle beef breezes. Or the ones with a hint of turnip. Mix this in with a pungent vinegar tang and you had me wanting to capture a fart, solidify it somehow and make it into a cheesecake so I could have sliced brap on a biscuit base while masturbating. Who here brap fiends?
