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i'm about to turn 21, and i've just been reflecting on my life, and how i'm in a dead end, that nothing's really moving forwards, nothing's really happening but heavy escapism and being deeply lonely. it's been around three years since i've been living like this, and i just want more for my life, if that makes sense. something new and real. something to look forward to, so that i stop treating life like a waiting room for death. i feel like an elderly patient in a nursing home, just being treated for. it's no way to live.
that being said, i don't know how to proceed forwards, i just know anything but this.
