>>5911503>>5911504>>5911506So I prayed - for the first time perhaps, genuinely. I cried out to God, I said that I wanted to know him, I wanted to learn, I wanted the love in my life that my associates seemed to have in theirs, but at the moment I was broken inside and wasn't even sure if God existed as I thought he might, only that there was *something* more out there, and I wanted to find it. "Help me find you" I prayed; "I want to know you, please help me find you, if you're really out there".
So, I wasn't entirely sure where to go from this point, so I decided that a logical place to start was the bible itself. I started reading in the book of Matthew, the first book of the New Testament, (my recommended starting point for anyone, whose just getting started) and I found that these passages from ~2000 years ago hit me right in the feels, I tried hard to study them, to see myself there among the crowd seeing these events, and doing everything I could to apply Jesus words and teachings to my life - and it really was lifechanging.
But I had to read, and I had to work at this. I remember reading a few verses at a time on my phone at work while I was waiting for a machine to run through its cycle for ~60 seconds or so, before I had to do my job again when it finished, haha.