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I've been addicted to pain killers & heroin for 10 years. Clean for 2. I still drink and smoke weed occasionally, because I've never liked those two drugs well enough to become addicted to them. It still feels like there's a fire burning within my chest and I must be on the move constantly to quench it. I work out 6 days a week, go out for long forest walks, winter bathing. It's probably my personality and I have this big hole that needs to be filled with shit constantly.