>>16693860sup anon,
good on ya for reaching out, you deserve to be cared about.
I can't do anything to change the past, but maybe I can help you deal with it.
Check out this book;
https://www.playawarenessgames.com/I got he audiobook and read it in the car. It's a list of games where you get a better grasp of how you think and how much you let stuff affect you. I grew up being my older sister's punching bag, made it to 37 with 0 gf, I relate more than I want. This book helped me. Make stickers with names of games and post them wherever you have any kind of transition. gl anon