>>829256You are gay.
Pike, a deeply phallic symbol.
The head of a person, the most important feature.
Penetration.
Deep inside, you know that you have known someone, perhaps a childhood friend, whom you felt a need to be intimate with. You reject it with violence to supress it. You would be happier if you admited your desires to yourself, you would release the pent up energy that you use to arouse your anger. You'd be less neurotic that way. Who was it? Was it your best friend, or the friend you wished was your best friend? Did it scare you that you could venture so far into that feeling? Did you want to cuddle with him?
You don't have to tell me, tell you. You deserve the truth.