>>18476273because I really hate myself to the point that if someone ever says anything remotely nice about me, I immediately assume they're lying, because I really want to hurt myself and to die, but I am too afraid to do it, because being abused is all I've known my entire life.
And now all of those feelings are accentuated by the fact that I've lost the only thing I ever held dear in this shitty life and the fact that I am forced to get a job and find a place to rent, which will be shitty because I can't probably afford to pay more than 250 euro a month for it.