>>14979543We don't live in a perfect world.
Getting that white virgin is a nice fantasy I guess but you will die alone if you keep to these standards.
However you have to be absolutely clear with her that her ex must be dead to her. No visitations, nothing. The father abandoned the child and he should know that his child belongs to you now and he will have zero influence on it. This is the best power move you can make and you must make.