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>cider is basically a ridicously expensive fizzy apple juice
>beer tastes good and has the biggest variety of tastes of all alcohols but it doesn't have enough alcohol to get drunk without making your stomach suffer from receiving too much liquid
>grape wine is also tasty but less interesting and more expensive than beer. Getting drunk is easier than with beer.
>fruit wine has the most variety of tastes besides beer. It can taste similar to grape wine, juice with vodka (but if it tastes like this it will probably give you hangover) or disgusting chemistry
>vodka is not very tasty but easily the best to get drunk without getting severe hangover
>whisky is a more expensive vodka that gives you worse hangover
Beer is the best BEVERAGE and vodka is the best ALCOHOL. If vodka wasn't so heavily taxed, it would dominate the market.