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> dad from Italian family, lived in NYC during the 80s
> physically abusive father, manipulative and vindictive family
> ran away from home at 16, was a heroin addict for a bit, scalped tickets and merch at Grateful Dead concerts, stayed in Rikers bullpen and in a Mexican jail for a time
> Joined the army on court order after robbing a gas station, succeeded there, got married
> went to college and became a physician, did some scientific research, had us
> divorced, had a midlife crisis where he became a bail bonds enforcer, then got it right on the second re-marriage
> very charismatic, always has people working for him
> we’ve always had a love-hate relationship
> I love him because he showed me how to be an honest person, as he was to everyone
> even after mom divorced, he kept her and her spouse in their jobs with him
> he provided for me and got me out of a few hairy spots
> always made sure to spend time with us
> as a victim of trauma, has manic depressive episodes, hard to tell when he isn’t exaggerating something according to feelings
> natural aggression sometimes filtered to me, which made it hard to confront him on things
> wasn’t good at teaching me things like playing catch, he’d get impatient at my autistic ass and give up or yell
> let me try a lot of things, but didn’t really teach me right from wrong, especially after becoming disillusioned with evangelical Protestantism
> though he protected me, he would get very jealous of other potential father figures, hard to have other mentors
> insecure, which makes you watch what you say to him so he doesn’t take it wrong
> always wants people to have some sort of debt to him, makes me think twice before accepting favors and keeps me good with money
> have to keep a blank face during any friction, because he likes manipulating people’s frustration as his family did
> his OCD helped me become a bit of a slob in reaction
> I want to care for him, but he’ll probably commit suicide first
