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You bet your ass football. Why, when John Elway was only four years old he married Princess Celestia and brought football to all the ponies of the realm and sent Princess Luna back to the moon with the Oakland Raiders.
You might think you know football, but until you've met John Elway you can never truly comprehend football. That's what's so tragic about it, you can never truly know John Elway for to stand in his presence is to be blinded by the presence of his magnetic hypnocock.
Praise American. Praise football.
