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The trick is to find comfort in the fact that you COULD kill yourself. It's entirely possible to check out at any given moment, yet you haven't. Beyond your wants and thoughts to do it, you still haven't. For some reason, you cannot will yourself to do it.
In reality, the problem here is the ego. I've also experienced the death of my ego. Creating a new one had taken quite some time, but it's possible friendo. Just find a thing, ONE thing to be good at, and then take pride in the number of people you're better than. That's what keeps me going. Just an example, I've become quite the people person because I noticed 90% of people treat service industry workers like garbage, so I took it upon myself to treat every person with the utmost dignity and respect.
I know it's silly, but at the end of the day the simple fact that I'm more kind than 90% of people around me is something I can feel proud about.
