>>9646350Dont know if youre still here,
I used to have dreams, but nothing that stuck. No real passion. Anytime someone asked the question "what do you want to do when you grow up" my answer was i dont know. I thought maybe id learn to make video games since it was the only thing that I loved but i couldnt learn to code. The best i tried was Java and ive completely forgot it.
Since i went to shitty public schools i was never inspired besides an animation art class in my last year of high school which was fun but the more i tried the less i improved and it was apparent that those around me that had a real passion and dedication could never be surpassed and i looked upon everything i made with disgust.
I still try to draw stuff rarely since i have a small wacom tablet, but only for small stuff and as a low-effort joke. I only draw something when i am truly inspired to do something and even then the most praise i get is a one-word response from people in a discord group. I just wasnt meant to do anything creative since it barely sparked joy.
Pic related, its a shitty joke for /v/
I joined the military straight out of high school since i had no aspirations and was given a shit job but came with a certain certification that allows me to work in some high paying fields.
I left active duty becuase work drained me to where i I would go home and not do anything.
I have near dead social life with minimal interactions with strangers on the internet + discord
And now im 27, a neet again living in my dads house, with money to go to college but with no aspirations to go to college for. The certification i mentioned earlier can be used to gain a lucrative job that could eventually reach 6 figures but the job is so soulless that i would just wind back living the same life, and thinking about that doesnt compel me to do that.
I just feel like pissing away my 100k in savings and offing myself.
Thanks for reading my excuse-filled meaningless life story