Quoted By:
>"Now students, I know some of you are very angry about what happened in the Forbidden Forest last night"
>The hall falls silent as Dumbledore casts his eyes out across the vast room
>And I know the Daily Prophet said that the Auror in question was kneeling on the man for over ten minutes
>"But - what the Daily Prophet fails to mention..."
>At this point Dumbledore winks across at the Gryffindor table, pausing for a moment only to scowl at Hermione Granger, who is trying to surreptitiously pass out badges stating that All Aurors Are Bastards
>"What the Daily Prophet fails to mention is that the man in question was caught with counterfeit Galleons whilst high off his face on Baruffio's Brain Elixir!"
>A great murmur goes up around the hall.
>McGonnagal can be seen putting her face in her hands. She looks very exasperated.
>Unperturbed, Dumbledore continues
>"Not only that - but did you know that the man has a known history as a violent death eater?"
>"Only recently, he broke into a house on Diagon Alley and put his wand against a pregnant witches stomach, threatening to cast a Feetus Yeetus spell if the woman tried anything funny."
>At this point the hall can no longer contain itself.
>Someone from the Hufflepuff table shouts "DINDU NUFFING" at the top of their voice
>"Silence!" shouts Dumbledore
>"This is the last I want to hear about any of this Cultural Grindelwaldism this year"
>"Now, before we sing our School Song, I'd like to introduce you all to our new Defence Against The Dark Arts Teacher. Please, can you all welcome Professor Steve Bannon"
