Quoted By:
this is part of my book of short life anecdotes, but I guess this is a better time to post it than ever.
We had to sit in the shuttered portable classroom, sun stabbing through the cracks of the plastic blinds
We were told to listen for beeps in our giant beige over-the-ear-headphones as a “hearing test” and look at the slides inside a beige machine that covered your eyes with a dark brown suction-cup-like fitting. Looking into it resembled a black tunnel with a grainy transparent slides at the end, clicking through counter-clockwise, a small yellow light illuminating each picture.
“BEEEEEP!” A clipart photo of a cow standing in blue grass, in front of a green barn
Can you hear that?
Ya
“BOOOOOOP” a clipart photo of a dog jumping over a sleeping wolf
Did you hear that one?
Mhmm
“BRRRRRRP” a real life photo of a boy from the seventies or eighties smiling uncomfortably at the camera, or maybe something behind it
Did you hear that one?
Yup.
Are you sure?
Ya, I heard it.
Damon are you sure you heard it? You’re not lying, right?
Nuh uhhhh, im not lying
Okay, don’t lie on this test, please
“BREEEEMMP” a clipart photo of a cat sleeping next to a sleeping dog
[My head and stomach hurt while writing this and I think I’m gonna shit my pants or something]
Damon you can’t lie for this one. Did you hear that?
Yes, I did
Okay Damon, you can stop, go to your seat.
I walked back to my seat, no desks to accompany them, but 30 of them squared up to face a blank whiteboard while the kids lined up against the wall each went to one of the three picture machines.
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