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>went to my uni classes
>shitposted a little
>drank a blue monster
>took the bus home
>went home
>ate lunch
>slid into the bed covers
>couldn't fall asleep
>started to break down
>finished my assignments
>tried to listen to America First podcast
>went back to 4chan and wasted my day
I can't imagine an happy life together with someone, I'm so detached from reality my mind avoids considering even the slightest favorable outcome. Inside the bus I saw two high schoolers kissing and hugging, a shocking sight, and the first gay couple i saw in my entire life. They were in the flower of their youth, enjoying the beauty of their age and delighting in their lovely relationship. I tried to listen to Nick Fuentes' podcast but failed miserably because i realized I'll never be on the right side. I think of the cute twinks who are enjoying their sex life to the fullest and the morons who tell me being a gay man is a cakewalk, when in fact they turn out to be genetic lottery winners. Once a group of high schoolers on the bus referred to me as mister, that broke me inside, and as i looked at the mirror and i saw indeed an old man i felt the urge to stick my head through a noose. Looking back at my past, I wouldn't have stood a chance either, my acne was so fucking intense i garnered the threats and pity of everyone, my genes fucked me through whole teenagehood, and love has always been an apple i was unable to grasp. I am 21 but i don't feel any better than a crippled 80 year old man. God has stacked the deck against me from the start, and it was over before it even began.
