>be me>making soup>gonna be thebomb.com>realize something>the fuck?>noutensils.gif>i just bought some the other day>how'd i lose them all?>realize i just bought 3 boxes of plastic spifes>mfw>oh well, better than nothing>at least it's a spoon thingy >sit down with my soup>get spoonful>slurp>cut my fucking lips>the edges of my lips have literally been cut upwards due to the spife's God damned curvature>fuckfuckfuck>go to bathroom to clean up>notice my face getting paler due to blood loss>lips are drenched in blood, pure crimson red>clean myself up as quickly as i can>use bleach lightly to make sure it doesnt infect cuz i dont know how to put bandaids on a mouth>run my hands through my hair exasperatedly>shit, i forgot i had bleach in my hands>hair turns a different color>fuck i look like a freak>realize i will eventually have to tell this story>makeup some bullshit about an abusive father>knockknock.mp3>friend at the door>sees me in my horrid glory>he asks what happened>i tell him my story>he looks like he's about to breakdown for me>i laugh maniacally and say>"Why so serious? Put a smile on that face"Now im a criminal who gets chased by a mental ward patient nowadays. He doesnt even take me seriously and named me after the worst card in a playing card deck
