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oh right my dream i forgot
still kind of unique cause i was playing gta san andreas in it that hasnt happened in some time now
in my dreams as a kid it showed up a lot more often and whenever my dream was about to end i opened up the main menu to that game and pressed quit
not everytime i guess but when things like my arm getting cut off happened so i was basically rage quitting out of the dream
related to that i used to keep having dreams where i gave the wrong amount of money in a store or something and so they cut off one of my limbs as a punishment like a cartel video
i think thats why ive always only been able to go the places im familiar with and anything new makes me uncomfortable, cause i think im gonna mess something up and get punished badly for it or something, and even with the ones im okay with i cant help but get a bit tense still, although thats been easing up nowadays ive generally been more confident with everything so thats nice i guess, but i think more than me being confident its just that ive stopped caring. oh but at the same time i hate going to the same places too much, cause i really dislike the people there recognizing me in any way, i really really dont want anything to do with them, not even being in their memory, and i always feel judged and all so yeah
the worst is when they make small talk god i fucking hate that
like im just buying ice cream from you too much, so what, you dont need to make a comment about it or anything, go away, what the fuck, i had to stop getting ice cream from that place because of that
and i had to stop eating from some place cause they knew what i was gonna order the second i walked in so that felt annoying
if it werent for that i would eat out more often honestly but yeah
theres this old dude in a shop who i dont mind though cause he let me have some sour gum for free once
i never could bring myself to use cards for the longest time cause i was just that afraid of not being able to use one properly lol
anyway
