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Its late I find myself in walmart after smoking a sizeable amount of marijuana I needed to take a leak so my gf and I split off and upon entering the bathroom I notice it smells really bad, like not just public restroom bad.. really bad. However my teeth are floating so I just continue on and use the urinal. Its at this time I hear weird grunts and hush swearing. First thing I think of is "Oh lord, there's gay sex happening in this restroom" so I hurriedly zip up my pants and go to wash my hands as to avoid listening to this diablerie any further. Its at this moment I notice a brown stain on the wall in the form of a handprint and the paper towel dispenser has been pushed open and is covered in a similar coloured substance.. I follow the trail with my eyes, as my feet are locked in a state of desperate fear and realization. The floor is covered in shitty footprints I somehow managed to the river shyts. Out of morbid fascination I peer under the special needs stall and notice a pair of what were previously white socks on the floor beside a sockless and shoeless foot and single dancing pantleg moving up and down to what I can only assume was a man dunking his shart-pants into the toilet in a futile attempt to clean his grave mistake and escape the mart. After realizing what i've encountered I rush out the bathroom and wait outside the door for my gf, however just at this time the manager makes his appearance known and i approach him. His name tag reads "Patrick" and he was not prepared for what I had to tell him. "Hey man, I uhh think someone shit themselves and is cleaning their pants in the toilet.." He looks at me aghast "W-what." I just look at him, now aware my face is a mix of pure terror and a boyish grin. "Oh god, you're serious" he says, truly appalled. "yeah, im so sorry" I respond before walking to my gf who looked at me slightly confused. I looked her in the eyes and with the tone of someone just coming out of shock I go "Shart, in the mart"
