>>10224370Niggas trying to have a conversation obviously. I don't go over to your threads and spam them when you're talking with yourself schizo. The least you could do is show some respect. I mean I'd do the same for you. Kinda doing it right now trying to be as polite as I can online. Please just let me schizo out in one thread. It's a shit thread anyways and that's why I hijacked it with nonsense. I was already doing what you're trying to do which is kill a thread.
So I'll ask nicely. Could you please just leave this thread alone so I can get my social interactions for the day out? I'd really appreciate it.
>>10224368No. You can't say those things. I can't relapse anymore. I've made too much progress. In spite of how much I want it to we can't have what we want all the time and have to deal with the consequences of our choices. I'll always have fond memories and they'll toxify into nightmares and thoughts to keep me awake in the night.
I think about it a lot. Sometimes more than I should and in ways I shouldn't. My burning desire turned into a smoldering obsession where I sift through the ashes for small things to cling onto to keep the fire alive. I've never lost hope. FUCK YOU YONKERS I FUCKING HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID AND IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR FAULT IT'S MINE!
One obsession for another. Gay into guns. UwU's into .458 socom. OwO for short stroke piston systems. Anything to get my mind off of what I want/need to do. One day I'll break but today is not that day. Today is a ramble day. Write out long posts that nobody that I want to see will see them. Talking at the worst shit poster Yonkers just to get by. God damn I hate his stupid face. Burned into the back of my skull ready to greet me when I close my eyes and get too comfortable. Waiting like a blade in the night to cut deeper than anything. I want to kiss that boi. You know what though yonk? I probably never will. Why should I continue to try if I feel so alone in the endeavor? I'm always alone. Thuggin.
