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If problem exists fix it using all resources perhaps.
People may present an example of others being wrong to do things alone though... Eg Jesus. Or right for it... Sending people into hopeless hells, tricked that they can endure it and aren't leading love into hell, making it bad and wrong.
As said already fine to work and raise kids if not enjoy the world and eachother.
As a man you should be filtering the world for your woman. I haven't been, so problems are probably my fault.
Maybe you both do for eachother. You both send your best and improve it. Though as a man you should be the front line...or the source... Maybe not. Maybe try to find and make the best. Keep her with it.
Keep up the feeling she should be treated well. Payment for your service. Expectation you will repay the service.
Maybe provide such service. Allowing all to enjoy love. All getting some time with their love. Their woman or their man. Their girl or their boy... Though I think childhood isn't final for love, maybe it never is, but you have to fight off reality to not be greedy and stay with what you loved, or what seems to love you too... Or doesn't love you but you do them so have to stay commited. Take away doubt and fear, that may be highly deserved. Deserve her faith in you, her connection. Help for her and you to be close and connected.
Keeping it a secret seems unnescessary untill there is worry. Untill people think you are powerful. Less connection more worry. Intruded upon trapped so can't have them too in a cage.
At least one they would not like. What may be bad for kids, or for them or you. Mocked into nothing satisfying the bastards caging you two.
Also less care to what else you've cared about. Like they deserve less. Aren't as important. It all needs to be good.