>>3315927>what honestly keeps you going?At this point I have no real reason to live. Lost everything I built my future on, every relationship, family members died.
I guess I just want to see how it shakes out. I've got nothing to lose by dying another day either.
It's bad enough having looked behind the curtain of how screwed we are politically, but when you try to rise above how shitty the world is, to do the right thing and to keep your own morality and life rewards you with nothing but disaster after disaster, that's a feeling I can't even describe properly. I didn't understand "slavic" nihilism you find in Tarkovsky or Dostojevski, or partly in Bergman, until now.
It's not atheism. It's the absolute certainty that the world is not just random but actively horrible and punishing on purpose.
