>>10881557>>10881742thank you both a lot for the feedback!
>only the third fragment does tbdesu it does. The gems near the hearth is the dew just outside. And the rest of the strophe is supposed to be the Lyrical-I explaining, that it wants to go where nobody else was before, because, that's where there's most to discover
>overall it sounds straight out from 1800si like old poems a lot more. Modern and postmodern ones just don't feel as nice and don't make me feel nice. And I think there's a term for using a lot of words that aren't in use anymore. But I forgot.
>also consider cutting off the first fragment entirelyalso very true.
Thank you lots, again.
