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When I was younger I used to read a lot. I used to think that by reading as much as possible I would gain a deeper level of understanding, that I would be part of an elite among men. But in the end, all the knowledge I acquired only made me feel even more lost and ignorant. So much conflicting data, so many questions, all left without answer.
I was an atheist back then. As I grew up I realized that denying God was a consequence of my rebelious youth. When you are young and arrrogant, you try to challenge all sources of authority (beginning with your parents) and what greater source of authority there is than God? You deny God because you can't accept that He is the one who deal the cards, not you. You feel like God has no business being on command of your life, that you as an individual shouldn't have to bow to the will of some superior being that you don't even fully understand.
I gave up trying to understand the world. Now I only wait for the LORD to come and bring everything that is hidden unto the light and judge it accordingly.
Give up this fantasy of trying to gain absolute understanding, anon. Trust God, trust His plan, learn to see everything as divine will and you will never feel anxious, insecure or sad again.
Jesus is King.