Quoted By:
I don't understand how there's anyone out there who doesn't contemplate suicide. When I was younger, I was so scared of death. I couldn't fall asleep thinking how I'm one day closer to dying of natural causes than I was yesterday. I loved life, but I was in constant fear of losing it. Over the years, this constant fear drained me. I stopped loving life. Every night is another nightmare about dying. Well, I got "cured". And the cure was deciding that mortality is a curse, that no matter what, you can't be happy if you are destined to die. Life is suffering. And it's better to just end it early.
Outwardly, I project happiness. But I was really close to end it all a few times. The only thing preventing me is fear, primordial irrational fear of dying. I look down and I want to jump, but my legs won't move. Then I come back home and smile like I'm happy.
Not all depressions are the same. But this one is mine, frens.